I've decided to try and write at least a 'field' full of words for the foreseeable future.
So many people do this very poorly, I figure what I do is not that bad and I should get my thoughts out and stuff anyways and work on my writing skills. Or lack there of. About my life. Working in retail can be stressful, but it also can be very boring. I mean, some days I am just standing there for hours, feeling the torture that is waiting until someone can let me go to the bathroom to pee and poop. I have problems that way, I always seem to feel the need to go, even when I tried to go before hand so I wouldn't have that problem, it never works out of me.
When I think about my bathroom problems, I think that it's probably one of the main reasons, besides being fat and crazy, that I will not ever hook up with a guy. Even if a guy wanted to hook up. Even being friends is a hard thing for me because I try so hard to be perfect, I mean, physically clean and stuff, but I know I just cannot be as good as others who have designer clothes and shiny perfect hair and perfect skin and know how to be social and everything. I have nothing of this, and even if I do for very short amounts of time, I worry that I will be too noticed and then when I lose the nice clothes and my hair goes yucky and my skin goes yucky than all the people who seem so perfect will notice. Sigh!! I can never win. I hope my laptop will stop crashing on me, it is so annoying. Nothing works out for me..