Monday, June 27, 2016

Reasons staying 'single' is the best life for me

There are times when I wonder what it would be like to have a boyfriend or even go on dates, but then I consider all the trouble that brings I want to make a list of reasons that life is better alone.

1. I can do whatever I want whenever I want and rarely consult anyone else. I mean I let my mom know where I am because I live with her (as a roommate) and just to be nice, but I don't have to tell her where I am going or what I am doing. Being with a romantic partner would involve thinking of them for every single little thing I want to do because all my spare time would then belong to them. I'm sorry, but I like being able to attend a yoga class at 8 in the morning and watch whatever I want and just do silly things like play with my cat and color in my coloring books. It's not like I do anything bad, but I feel like if I had a boyfriend, and from what I have heard, I'd have to consult them about my every move. That's just giving up my freedom and not fun.

2. All my money belongs to me, now being as I gave up my right to parent, I do not have any human dependents and my mom helps me with the care and maintenance of  my cat (which is not much really) I realized a long time ago that I can barely take care of myself, let alone someone else. Every woman I know in a partnership with another person complains about or just plainly states that they give up much of their money to help their partner. I am just now paying off my debts, I have no desire to take on anyone else's or the responsibility for their welfare. I respect that others do it for love, but it seems really very impractical. I know my strengths and I COULD be that woman doing everything for everyone, but if I don't have too, I choose not too.

3. Why I choose not to involve myself in the welfare of someone else? Because they rarely care about me the way I care about them. Usually I am just opening myself up to abuse, as with the case of most of the woman I know who are in long term relationships. Abuse is common and extremely damaging to a person in every way possible.

4. Even if I dated someone and they liked me and were nice to me, I just can not afford it. It's enough that I spend time with a good friend once a month or so. I always consider the cost. Taking off time to go to a friends party means that I am giving up a day of work and that day's pay. I could afford this every six months or so, but not all the time as the case with dating would be. Also with dating there's the cost of looking nice, clothes, makeup, etc.

5. Men expect woman to be perfect while they are lazy slobs and also take for granted all the work they do to 'woo' them. As in make them (or bring them) food and presents, maybe help them clean their home or whatever because a woman sees a mess and cannot let it be, it is just a fact.
I know that my body had many flaws and men give themselves a pass on many of the same body issues that woman are shamed for. If I am not with a man, I can have whatever shape of body I want. I mean, I'm a size 6, but I have stretch marks, veins that pop out, weird brown spots all over my body and floppy skin because I went from a size 19 to a size 6. My feet are just a mess, but I was born with that problem, and even though my complexion is mostly good, I have a weird face and almost never spend any time on my hair (except to shampoo it once or twice a week).
In short, I am fit and healthy, but not a model or anywhere near the standard of beauty that is expected. I like to hide my body and be the only one who likes everything about it. I like being allowed to be ugly as the other old lady swimmers at the pool and not feel guilty about it.

6. Mainly the downsides out weigh the benefits. For the chance at a bit of that madness that people call 'being in love' I am unwilling to give up all that defines me as a independent woman who is not hurting anyone by being single. It probably is a benefit to many that I remain single. I can be the most reliable worker, and devote my life to doing small things for strangers and charities without the excuse that 'I have a 'family' to take care of'