Thursday, April 12, 2012


There is much that irritates me today. I mean, I was mostly in a good mood, but what put me in a bad mood is the misbehavior of others. People don't like to follow instructions or have patience with small errors. I am not perfect and neither are devices that we use. People have so little patience these days, and I am no different.

Although, I do want to know, really, how long do I have to wait after the hour of my shift ending has come.
Why do some people get good treatment. Also I feel guilty, because these people that misbehave, I want to be their friend too, I know that they can be good. I just feel like because I am correcting people on one or two small things that they think that I think they are all bad, when they are not, they are just doing one or two things wrong and being unfair to me by getting mad at me for expecting only what I would always expect of myself.

Honestly, the excuses don't fit the problems, and I have little mercy in my heart for the vague excuses of slight difficulties that I over come easily on a daily basis. I know, maybe that's just me, maybe because I have no real life, to other demands, no other distractions, and no social obligations, nothing to keep me from over coming the difficulties that others refer to as their primary problem and reason for misbehavior when I know it is not the case. The truth is that respecting me is not a priority, respecting what I put most of my energy in is not important at all, so they give it little notice and the fact that I care so much, that is an offense to them, a strange thing that makes them not want to be my friend. That causes them to treat me like an enemy and expect me to understand and accept that I am not acceptable because I have a hard time showing mercy when I am disrespected. It's never about what really happens, it's about my reaction and how it's inappropriate to point out how stupid their excuses are and how mean it is to disrespect me.
I mean, I try my best to respect others, and even being angry at misbehavior seems disrespectful and so I really try and hold back. I really just don't know how to be and I feel tormented by worry that I have lost the hope for a pleasant time in all my duties because of poor selfishness on the part of others who care little of the effect of their actions.

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