Tuesday, May 15, 2012

What's happening

My mom and I are going to go to my Grandpa funeral on Friday, it's in Winnipeg and we live in Calgary, so the fastest way to is fly of course. I have not been on a plane since I was eight years old. I mean, literally, on my
8th birthday(BTW, my birthday is the 23 of this month) I got on a plane to go to Winnipeg for the first time.

I remember I was in horrible pain for at least the first while. Nothing helped, believe me, I thought my head was going to explode that day. I also remember I got the 'treat' of going into the pilots room place(what do they call that place again?) and that was terrifying as well because even though it was probably totally safe, I had this overwhelming fear that I would accidentally crash the plane if I touched a switch or something. 
That was the first time I saw a room just covered with switches and stuff everywhere. It really overwhelmed me. My siblings loved it, at the time, but all I remember as my eight year old self was holding my hands together behind my back so hard that I was hurting myself a little. Although, and interesting thing for a kid to see for sure.

Now as a adult I don't think I'll accidentally crash the plane or anything. I'm just annoyed that apparently I can't bring a bottle of water with me. Oh well, it's only gonna be a hour and a half flight. I am more worried about what will happen when we get there. I really hope that I don't have to spend the majority of my time alone, with my mom. I want to be with my other relatives, because my mom is being very frustrating and ruining everything for everyone, all the time. I mean, my favorite aunt offered her home for us(my mom and I) but my mom didn't take her up on it, and said she would stay in my Grandpa apartment, yeah, the place he just died in. So now we have to sleep where my dead Grandpas body was because my mom RUINS EVERYTHING with her indecision. My sister and my brother are going to travel by bus and hopefully, they will end up in Winnipeg about the same time as we are going to be there.
I really just hope that there is WiFi near Grandpa apartment, or that we actually get to stay with my favorite Aunt. I know I just have to pray, and that people who care about me are praying that thing will be OK.

I'm the kind of person that likes to know exactly what is going to happen. My mom is the kind of person who takes forever to decide things, especially if they make her uncomfortable, and then complains or blames others for missed opportunities. It's the little things that bother me about my mom, like when we are both planning on watching a certain show, and are waiting for the time, and then she hesitates HESITATES to change the channel to the right one, for almost two or three minutes, and that is terrible because nowadays the first two or three minutes tell you EVERYTHING about the show that will make it make sense.
My mom doesn't seem to care if things make sense though, she just likes to ignore or worse, ask why things don't make sense over and over without actually trying to listen and watch and make sense of them herself!
I think she's a lost cause honestly, so I try my best to help her and be patient, but it takes most of my energy to get along with her. That's why I hope that I get to see others, besides her. I mean, I do get along with most other people fairly well, and others are kinder to me than her.
I was packing yesterday and my mom made fun of the fact that I packed a bunch of black clothes she asked me why, and I told her, well... we're going to a funeral??
She also doesn't understand my sleeping needs. I sleep with a large bear(who used to be white) and I am not going to take it with me, I am going to take with me my Dragon(you know, from Shrek) which is a smaller plush animal to comfort and cushion me in my sleep. I need so much to feel comfortable enough to sleep. If I had my way, I would never sleep in any place other than a place I was well familiar with.
But, at least my mom accepts me in some ways more than others. I mean I have a good place to live and at least I know that my mom, even though she annoys me, will never really neglect to see that I get the basics that I need. She is not malicious in her attitudes and actions, just ignorant and unaware of the consequences, like a child or a elderly person. Well technically ,she's a senior at some restaurants and places....
Anyways, I've ranted enough, I don't know how this whole thing is going to work out, but I know that God knows all the details already and everything will probably be OK and work out somehow.
I hope I survive it all.

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