Wednesday, June 27, 2012

I tried

Today I had my nieces and nephew in my care all day, and it was a hectic day.
I tried my best to keep them busy and stuff. I just feel that I fail all the time at being good with kids.
Well, to point out the small 'successes' today, they ate everything I gave them, even the carrots that I mixed in the mac and cheese(except for my nephew, who picked out and gave them all to his sister)
I mean, they didn't do any real damage to themselves or anything around them, but still, the constant fighting between them, it just make me feel like I'm an awful person who can't even keep them from fighting all the time.
It is more than exhausting and demoralizing to hear the kids you love argue and fight and then out of the blue get along like nothing happened, only to be fighting a moment later.
I don't know how my sister does it, or even, my mom.
Apparently when she cares for them, they fight far less than they did with me.
I think they still fight, but somehow, my sister and my mom can shut down the fighting a little faster.
I have no idea what to say to get them to stop, besides to say 'stop fighting' and that seems to do nothing.

The craft sets from the dollar store didn't work they way I was hoping and I regret not buying the other craft set that might have worked better.

Yeah, I just wish I could have more authority with my nieces and nephew.
It seems they just take everything for granted, and do not seem to care about the great value of things and how people have worked hard to provide things like clothes, food, toys, entertainment, homes, vehicles.
They have so little respect for these things it seems, or just... is it me... ??

I wonder if I should regret my generosity in caring for them, giving them oatmeal with strawberries, mac and cheese with carrots, ice cream with chocolate sauce, cookies, juice, for taking them to the park, for letting them play in the back yard, for letting them watch whatever they want on television. For letting them play with all the board games(they didn't ask they just tore into all the closets and took out stuff, it was totally frustrating that they didn't ASK).
I should regret doing all this, right, or should I not. They did not even thank me, but I still ache with love for them.
I wonder when they will realize how much it hurts someone who gives you all kinds of things, at their own expense, and don't even hear a thank you, but in fact are treated with the disrespect of lousy attitudes??
Maybe it was the heat making them crazy. I really don't know, I don't want them to be so mean, but they are kids, hopefully they don't understand that their behavior was hurtful. They wouldn't hurt me on purpose, right??


Roni said...

Depending on their ages, kids can't developmentally appreciate what adults do for them..heck sometimes not until they are old enough, as in adults, to truly understand what the adults in their lives did for them!
As for the fighting...well that comes with the territory of having siblings I think...asdie from that it sounds like you had fun.

April said...

They sound pretty normal to me! They will probably behave better if they know what your expectations are. My sister is not a mother, but she's a teacher. She'll say things to my kids like "I like to play board games with kids that take out one game at a time. Let's put these other games away." And it works. The next time they will just take one game out knowing what their aunt expects. Kids are adults in training and need a lot of direction, correction, and reminders! For me its reminding them to say "May I please..." instead of "I want..."

GondolaQueen said...

It sounds like you did exactly what a loving auntie should and would do. And that the kids behaved exactly the way ALL kids do. My 3 kids fight and bicker constantly, and anyone who tells you 'They do it less for me." is flat out delusional.

My kids fight and bicker, and because I refuse to take sides (I don't want to hear later in life, "Momma always took your side"- so I stay out of it unless they involve weapons/ violence).

And until my sister in law frequently gets frustrated by the fact that she doesn't think my kids 'listen'. They do. But they also are still only kids. And a 5 year old can only listen to so many "don't do's" before they forgot a few of them.

As to kids not appreciating stuff. They don't. And they shouldn't really have to. I mean, if they are in your care, you HAVE to feed them. They aren't capable of realizing you could have given them something crappy, rather than something delicious- they take it for granted, because that is what all kids do.

So, I think you need to cut yourself some slack- you probably did a great job yesterday of making sure they behaved as best as their ages allowed. And the fact that they are still kids doesn't, and shouldn't, reflect on your ability to care for them, or on your sister's parenting methods.

Good luck next time, hopefully it goes better, and isn't as hot.