Sunday, March 18, 2012

Ten things I want in a (hypothetical) husband

When I was something like 20 or 22 I wrote an undated entry in a note book about things I want in a husband.
I still remember these things because even though I so desperately wish that I could magically find a man like this, it is so unlikely as to be impossible to occur. I am going to write those ten things down, in order of least important to most important and I want anyone who reads this to imagine these things as a pyramid. The first being the tip and the last being the most important base of the whole thing.
These things are things that cannot be had separately, they are things that would need to be altogether or not there at all. Not having the tip might not be important, but not having a middle piece is very important.
So here it is now, my list of things I want in a (hypothetical) husband.

10. Taller than me
Yes, I know that it cannot be something that is under the control of the man, but it's just a comforting thing to have a man who is 'bigger' than me and it would make me feel smaller and more lady-like and pretty and sexy and stuff. So the man being taller has more to do with how it makes me look/feel than the fact that being taller is just easier for someone like me, who is way to tall for a girl at 5'9(and a quarter inch).
9. Good Manners
You might wonder why this is at this place in the list and it is because I know that good manners can be taught. What I mean by manners is not so much just please and thank you, but a developed sense of empathy, patience, deference for others, modesty, and personal hygiene. It is a basic thing that should be taken for granted, but if it is not present, it can be developed.
8. Good Family
Another thing that I know is not fully in a man control. Who can control who their family is? Yes, but it would be nice for my future husband to have a family that gets along, that is nice. That is good in the sense that they have a good reputation, and honest life, and truly show love to one another.
7 Nice Car
I know this might seem vain and selfish, but the fact remains that what a man drives(what anyone drives) can give you a really good idea of how stable his finances and life are. Now, as well, I do not drive because of my poverty and lack of personal skills and having a husband who can fill that need for me is important as it is important that this vehicle be sound. It doesn't have to be pretty, but if it is clean, well maintained, it can be almost any kind of car. It just has to be one that will work well!
6. Common Traits
I have amended this thing from the list. The one in the notebook said 'things in common' but same difference, right? Now for this thing, I mean that I would want someone who likes some of the same things. Likes the some of the same music, hobbies, books, other entertainment. Having things like this in common would just make life easier. I mean, it doesn't mean that he can't like things that I don't like, just that having completely different tastes in home decor or music or entertainment is very inconvenient and I know from experience that I can never 'convert' anyone, let alone a man, to like the things I like. It would just be so much better if he already liked them. Then we could have real fun together and such. Also it would be nice if my future husband had a similar life to me and experienced some of the same things prior to meeting me.
5 Good Listener  
What I mean by this is not a man who says nothing while I rattle on for hours and hours. What I really want is a man who is actually paying attention to the things I am talking about and responding in helpful ways, or just responding. The only way that that I truly know if someone is listening to me is by the way they respond, not just that they allowed me to talk for hours without interrupting. I mean, I would want my husband to do that do, as I would try to listen and respond to him in the same way that I would want as well. Relationships don't work unless the two people can really listen to each other and respond in helpful ways.
4. Common Goals
If I am going to join my life with a man, I need him to have the same overall goals in life as I do. Or at least some of the same goals and hopes. Being simple things like loving God and others and following the principles of the faith that is so vital and most important to me. Also, NOT being obsessed with money or any personal fame or some such nonsense. Not having common goal is always a big problem for many couples.
3 REALLY loves me
Now I know this is very selfish of me, or maybe is it extremely wishful thinking, but I would want a husband who loves me more than I love him. I mean, I would love my husband, but I really want a husband who loves me just a little bit more than I could love him, and I can love people like crazy. Not trying to brag, just the truth. This is probably impossible as it seems that not many people seem to be able to love someone as hard-headed and weird as I am. Although I dream of the possibility,   I know that only God loves me, REALLY loves me.
2. Spiritual Knowledge of the Holy Bible
Now we are getting to the nitty-gritty. The things that are truly impossible for men to do, in my personal experience, or just that all the men who can have this things are all unavailable to me. What I really mean by this is that I want a husband who loves the Bible, to whom the Bible is something vital and personal to him as it has been to me and should be to all who love God and call themselves 'Christians'.
1. Faith in Christ that is stronger than mine
This is the thing that seems most impossible because the guys I have known seem to lazy in their faith.
I would want a husband who's faith is so strong that it compels me to have a stronger faith. Also, I would want a husband who has had this faith for a long time. At least as long as I have known my faith, but at least six months is good enough according to a dating book I once read about dating Christian men(that was given to me by my high school sweetheart who I believe hates me)

This is my list of things I want in a (hypothetical) husband that I will never have.

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